Cream of the Crop 20/Cream of the Crop 20 (Terry Blount) (1996).iso/games/int2rusi.zip/INT2RUSI.DOC

Text File | 1995-04-17 | 8KB | 145 lines

                        Introduction to Russian
                         by Russian Under Ware
         (a sequel to Introduction to Introduction to Russian)

This is a bunch of games that are fun to play but not worth REGISTERing.  It
also includes previews of our games.  If you like those, order them from us.
To start a game, type "run" and it will give you a list of what you can do.
Well, here's a little about the games, hopefully enough so you can play them:

Bloopers Sample;
A sample of our futur game "Bloopers" where you...uh...well, there's noplot,
but yu see some of ourr mistakes (i.e. Please, Thank You, The Russians do
 Wear Underwear, etc.)  This demo will shoe the Used ship bying seen from
"Piracy", which we released late in 1894, before we were fixed.  you'll be
abel too figyure this out, even if you're not a moron>

Join more than 3 but less than 5 little black and red things before the
computer beats you to it first (in other words, Connect 4 with an UZI--UZI not
included):
Like Milton Bradly's Connect 4, only, we give you an UZI (UZI not included).
For those of you who received the introduction to introduction to Russian got
a look at this game.  For all of you who have it, DELETE IT NOW!.  This
version is 100000000 X better!  You can play against a friend, but because you
have none, you can also go head-to-head against the computer with two levels
of difficulty! (be careful, he's tough, he even learns new strategies with
age).  If you don't have a mouse, don't worry, just press the number of
the column you wish to place.  Also, as a special bonus, I've added the Genie
level.  If you happen to get here, the only way you will know, is that the
computer will place his piece suspended in the air (don't worry, it is VERY
rare).  To start a new game, either pull the blue lever at the bottom, or
select new game from the menu, or press F2.  Well, that's all, but I warn you
it is very addictive (and sometimes tricky)  So be careful.
    ***I have noticed one or two minor bugs, but what DO you expect, it's
      freeware!!!!
               Connect 4 with an UZI (UZI not included)
               being released now (Gheeze you're stupid!)

The Russian Lottery:
Ever wanted to win the lottery?  ever wanted to become a millionaire?
well, if you answered yes to any of the former, than the Russian Lottery is
NOT for you, I repeat, it is NOT for you.  Basically, you have a pair of
underwear's chance in Moscow at winning this.  But, if you actually do win,
you may even be able to print out a check.  (take heart, I won for the first
time, last week).

Mole Demo:
This is a demo of the first game in a soon-to-be hit series.  It's the middle
of the Cold War and you're spying on (who else?) the Russians.  Now you're in
the Moscow Airport.  Go around getting stuff and see what you can do.  To
control yourself, press the left and right arrows to show your options, then
press enter to actually do something.

Piracy Demo:
In this demo, you can be a pirate on the high seas!  Well, not really on the
high seas because you don't get a ship in the demo.  But otherwise it's
exactly like the real game except there are no enemies to fight.  But just
press the letter of the option on the menu, and you can do anything listed
there.  If you like it, get the full version.  If you don't, the demo doesn't
do a good job of showing how good the game really is.  If you're not sure, get
it and then decide.

Quest ][:
Ok, by now you probably know all about the Quest series, about Quest I, and
all that; in fact, you're probably thinking "This is the same as in
introduction to introduction to Russian," -- Well, YOU'RE WRONG.  I, unlike
my partner, want to provide you with the newest and most up-to-date info,
so I have updated my demo.  In this scene, you come above ground from where
your time machine landed.  You find yourself in a city, and, well, the rest
is here for you to experience.  Just follow the simple on screen instructions,
and you will have no problem.

Russian:
Don't ask.

Submarine:
This is basicly Battleship with a nuclear bomb, but unlike my partner I
actually INCLUDE the nuclear bomb!  (Ha, that'll get you for that update
comment!)  (see above if you're too oblivious to see it)  I bet you're
thinking "This is the same as in introduction to introduction to Russian,"
-- Well, YOU'RE WRONG.  This wasn't ready when we made that.  In fact it's
not ready now, but by the time you read this it might be.  You get 5 ships:
a Canoe (2 squares,blue), a Green ship that's 3 squares long (3 squares, green),
a cruise ship (3 squares,brown), a submarine (4 squares,yellow), and a Starship
(5 squares, black).  When the computer says the name of a ship, click where
one end goes.  Then click where the other end goes.  If you do not get a
message a few seconds after you set up your ships saying that the computer
is done setting its up, press Ctrl-Break and start over.  When it's your turn,
choose a weapon from the middle and click on a square on the left area, where
the enemy ships are.  Careful, they shoot back.  Keep going until someone
loses all his ships.  For non-mouse users:  You can also type in coordinates
with the keyboard.  For everyone:  The 2-player version sucks.

Warm and Cold:
This was our attempt at learning a new programming language.  Basicly, you're
searching for something, and something happens when you find it.  Click the
buttons or alt and the first letter of the direction to move.  What else
can I say?  Good luck --- NOT!

X's & O's:
Basically Tic-Tac-Toe with: . . . out the pencil and paper.
ok, it's Tic-Tac-Toe, done deal.

Joint Political Game Demo:
By bipartisan agreement, you can try out BOTH of our future political games
in one game.  When you start the game, you get a menu of the two games.  Well,
here's some descriptions of them.  Politician, well, what can I say, you do
such things as sling mud, lie, cheat, steal, ask your political mentor (if you
have to ask who that is, turn off your computer now, and jump out of the
window), and you even get to watch Abraham Lincoln debate with Ross Perot (why?
why not?)--which is what you get here (in abbreviated version, of course)
oh-well, Geoff is yelling and screaming at me now, 'cause he wants to type,
he has some sort of complex where he wants to be the center--State law says
the media gives us equal time before the election, so here I am.  What a coin--
Boo for Geo--SHUT-UP!  as I was saying, my demo are you going to interrupt me?
Is that it?  Can I finish?  My demo also is a debate scene, but I give you a
Stop interrupting me!  Can I finish?  Just choose whether you want to attack
your enemy, or whatever.  You get the choices in this.  So pick your opponent
and dig up some good dirt.  And vote for your favorite game--mine!--No, mine!

Good, those worthless voters are gone.  Now we can talk about how dumb they are.
Dumb? . . . DUMB? . . . You need to make a public apology to dumb people every-
     where for insulting them by comparing them with those moronic voters!
Apology?  Not gonna do it!  Na ga do it!  Wouldn't be Russian!
Well, It's time for change . . . I feel your change . . . jingling in my pocket
Huh? . . . Sold secrets to French Headsets? . . . Well, I just don't remember!
I am not a cook. . . You won't have this soccer ball to kick around any more.
Honestly, I didn't chop that cherry tree down, what, oh, I just went to the
     store and bought 15 bushels of cherries, what, oh, I went to Heileg Meyers
     and bought all this cherry wood furniture, HONEST!
Who am I?. . . Why am I here?. . . What's this thing on my face?. . . How
     much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuch wood?
O K, Nudibranch  "N-U-D-I-B-R-A-N-C-H"  oh, sorry, you forgot the "E" at the
     end!
My son said Hillary thinks the Russians  #$%^ wear underwear.
Vultures, Buzzards, Pidgeons, Crows, Chickens, if you ask me there's too many
     byrds!
I didn't lie to Congress, well I did, but I told the truth.
My fellow americans, Marilyn says hi, Jackie